Why I Built Deescalator: Turning Personal Challenges into a Tool for Conflict Resolution

Why I Built Deescalator

In the past year, life gave me a crash course in relationships, resilience, and the art of communication. My partner Lisa and I spent over 300 days traveling together, sharing every moment, challenge, and joy along the way. As much as this journey strengthened our bond, it also tested it, as any intense shared experience would. Living side by side 24/7, disagreements surfaced that we needed to address thoughtfully if we wanted to grow closer instead of drifting apart.

Seeking Growth and Self-Improvement

Being introspective by nature, I wanted to find ways to improve not only our relationship but myself. Reflecting on why conflicts happened and analyzing my reactions seemed like the first step toward building a stronger connection. Over time, I realized that if I could log these moments and track patterns, it might lead to a deeper understanding of what sparks arguments and how we could manage them better.

Finding a First Step Before Therapy

During this time, I noticed a trend among some friends who were beginning couple therapy. Therapy can be transformative, but it’s also a commitment of time, energy, and money. I wondered if there was an accessible “first step” to help people understand their conflicts, reflect, and even start improving their relationships before—or alongside—professional guidance.

A Way to Combine Passion and Skill

As a software engineer, I was also excited by the idea of building something useful. Creating an app around conflict resolution felt like a natural step: it would let me work on a problem I care about, build tools that people could use, and put my technical skills to good use. I could create something unique—an app that didn’t just track or record conflicts but helped users analyze them in a way that could foster personal and relational growth.

How I’m Building Deescalator

MVP: Start Simple, Test the Waters

The vision for Deescalator is ambitious, but I’m starting small. The first step is a Minimum Viable Product (MVP) that allows users to log, analyze, and reflect on their conflicts. It’s simple but effective, helping people get insight into their patterns and triggers without overwhelming them with features. With this MVP, I hope to validate the idea and gather feedback to make Deescalator better with each iteration.

Keeping It Free and Accessible

The MVP will use free tools and accessible technology to keep things light and easy for early users. The goal is to make it simple for anyone to try out Deescalator and see if it brings value to their lives. If there’s genuine interest and positive feedback, I plan to invest in enhancing the app with advanced features, including AI-driven insights and perhaps expert consultations to guide users even further.

The Future of Deescalator

This project is personal, but it’s also for anyone who wants to grow in their relationships without waiting for a breaking point. If Deescalator can help even a few people understand themselves and their relationships better, it will be a success. And if demand grows, I’m ready to expand, exploring new technologies and consulting experts to bring in deeper insights and resources.

Thanks for joining me on this journey. Whether you’re here to improve your relationship, learn about conflict resolution, or follow along with the development process, I’m glad you’re here. Let’s see where this goes.